Gizmo Explains Himself to Santa

After nearly a month away from the North Pole, Santa Claus had returned at last. But before he got ready for Christmas Eve, he needed to ask Gizmo Elf something:

"What, exactly, was the Appendapulator supposed to do?"

The Appendapulator is the great toy-making machine of the North Pole, and Gizmo Elf's greatest invention. This year, Gizmo had made some upgrades to the machine. It was during a demonstration of these changes that Santa disappeared.

"Well, Santa," Gizmo explained, "I was attempting to improve the efficiency of the gift delivery dynamic via the disapparational matrix of the Appendapulator. By codifying the corporeal paradigm vis-à-vis the transflux apparatus, it was feasible to apportion the celebratory items directly to the end user, thus eliminating the need for airborne cervidiean ruminants along with the dangerous and technically illegal practice of nocturnal rooftop entries via a traditional gas-venting system."

Santa was still smiling at Gizmo, but his eyes were slightly glazed. Turning to Waldo Elf, Santa asked: "What, exactly, was the Appendapulator supposed to do?"

"Pop the presents directly into kids houses," said Waldo.

"Exactly," said Gizmo.

Santa was amazed. "Do you mean--send the gifts directly from the North Pole to under the tree, without me having to deliver them?"

"Well, targeting delivery specifically to a sub-aborreal location was, technically feasible, in actuality it was a non-starter. However, we had ascertained a 99 percent success rate on a non-specific domestic endpoint,” said Gizmo.

"We were happy if we got them anywhere in the right house," translated Waldo.

Santa shook his head. "Gizmo, I wish you would have told me what you were trying to do," he said. "I would have stopped you long ago. We are not a delivery service. We are gift givers. The important thing is not how easily we can get presents into people's houses. The important thing is the time and care we have in giving the gift."

"I'm not sure I understand," said Gizmo

"Listen," said Santa, "everywhere I went these past 30 days, from Rancho Cucamonga California, to Rochester New York, to the Epping forest in England, and everywhere in between, I saw kids helping out. They were giving clothes, toys, and other things to the needy, but the most important gift they gave was the gift of themselves.

"That's the true spirit of Christmas, Gizmo," Santa said, "the gift of self. That's what's important."

Gizmo nodded. "I think I understand," he said.

"You don't understand?" asked Waldo. "Heck I thought I was the slow one! It's not what you get, but what you give that's important." Waldo took Santa Claus' hand. "Come on, Santa--we got lots of work to do before Christmas Eve!"

Santa laughed. "Ho, ho, ho! That we do, Waldo--and I'm looking forward to doing it. Let's get to it!" And Santa and the little elf walked out the door.

Gizmo looked around the workshop. All around him, elves were scurrying to and fro, all very busy, but all with smiles on their face. Even Toby Elf, the head worker elf, who never actually smiled, had a happy scowl on his face and a joyous tone to his bellow.

Gizmo saw a pile of toys on the floor next to the Appendapulator, which was humming along doing the job it was intended to do--make the toys for Santa to deliver.

"Gizmo!" shouted Toby. "Are ya gonna admire those toys or pack 'em in Santa's bag? They won't deliver themselves, you know!"

Gizmo Elf smiled. "No, Toby, they certainly won't." And Gizmo picked up a huge armload of them and carried them away.